HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE
So another easter comes and goes and not only did we visit about 4 different places, but i have had one of the best easters yet. To start with we slept in... and late, about 11:00. Than it was up to my dad's were we stayed for about 10 minutes and galavated up to my mothers. I had the first hard boiled egg fight i have ever had... eggs and Jello eggs. The jello eggs came first, thrown by my mom, which lead to ryan throwing them back... and thus is where it all started. Next came the hard boiled eggs, (right about when i got envolved) which lead to about a dozen eggs all over mom's backyard and banconly. After this is was a plastic easter egg extravaganza. Where ryan and i hid exactly 126 eggs for 4 childern four and under. The sad thing is that the kids found all 126 of them (this means no last minute trying to find easter eggs in the back yard before the dogs get to them, which is always a plus)
Than it was to Ryan's mom's house where there was much a chit-chat. No REAL conversation as i know it... just chit-chat. And than at about 7:30 we ran to my grandma's and gabbed about the latest gossip... and came home. Home is where the sex is (and let me tell you i liked it *smirks*)... so that's always good.
And now i will leave you all to recap your days events... thank you Salt Lake and good night.

"I'm not trying to compair Kaptain Kangaroo to Jesus Chris but..."
Quote today from Death to Smoochy. All i have to say is i laughed my ASS OFF. Starting Robin William (on of the best roles that i have seen him in... EVER), Edward Norton, and Danny Devito. So many Jesus Chris/ Penis/ Gay jokes i have heard in awhile... and it was funny... good and god damn funny!

Yet again to remind everyone EASTER is almost hear... "Let's say a prayer and get plowed" (yet another quote from the same movie)

NO new emails... wa wa wa

On depressing day after another... i think i should go home. Home and sleep.

I depend on my parent too much

So.. we only get a couple of weeks of not worrying about money in this company... and than it's back to the shits. Why is that?

Last night i went up to Nicki's, because she is making my wedding dress. We looked through bride magazines and thought of what pattern we want to do it in. It was fun, yes nicki can make anything! But we are also moving into her apartment building so that will be nice and fun.
I really want to go to movies tonight but there is also a party going on... what to do what to do.
Also this weekend is easter so maybe if you kiddies are lucky the easter bunny will visit your house and bring you lot of candy :) (why is it that i thought every year that this would happen... and it did. BUT now is a diiferent story, the easter bunny doesn't come and no presents either... DAMN)

So i have to write a total of 35 pages these next 2 weeks... move and somehow keep my sanity with out drinking... jeeze. I just might so insane... which i guess is fine. Oh yeah and we have to go over to ryan's parents for Easter... good god what could go wrong here?

i think that i lost my mind twice today. Staying home and writting one of the worst papers that i have written... sometimes i hate school. But i have to start studying for my midterm, that's a take home... so why study you ask, well because i have to write it by tuesday.

The exciting news for today is that Ryan and I are moving in together :) It's up on 1st ave and in between state street and A street. I'm excited. It takes a little bit of stress of, yet adds some at the same time. Maybe it will make our relationship together a little better.

It's almost easter and i'm trying to think of what to get ryan for his easter present. Maybe a pastel shirt that he will never wear... lets make it even better a button up pastel shirt... mowaahah *rubs hands together*

I'm looking for apartments... UGH! with out Ryan might i add. I think i'm left to my own ideas i can get things done a bit faster. I wish that he would help though! We have an apointment with a duplexx tonight at 6 and i still have a this paper to start writing... i'm the typical college student i guess.

What a stressful day. I've just been promoted to shift manager... suck, but a little extra moneys i guess is a good thing. Ryan's coming into work with me later this evening, because we are kind of ify for cash.

went apartment hunting and nothing in our price range really which sucks. I'm stressed as always. i have a paper due in 3 days and well it's getting to me, it really is. I have to work on a few papers today and tomorrow and wednesday... and i just might get to frustrated.. if i start going insane we will all know why.

No collection is complet with out the song of the day:
Song: The Boxer Band: Carbon Leaf Album: echo echo

It's a mix between Celtic music and alt. rock. It's WONDERFUL, New and enjoyable :) It's even self-released. JEEZE it makes me happy. I must go and purchase album.

So i can't view my own page at the moment... i wonder what is wrong with blogger... hmmm maybe it's these computers at school or something

As for Chris gig last night. He REALLY is good and will become great. He, like others that i've dated, have this drive to be in a successful band and if they have to go it alone they will. Hope for chris that he makes it.

In other news tonight i think we are going out with Vahl... getting drunk and watching a movie or raising hell downtown to try and find her some lovin' (vahl if you read this... teehee)

I have just gotten home from school, work, shopping, birthday party and even seen Chris play at Borders. (damn it was nice seeing him play again, he has talent)
In other news i have class tomorrow and need to read for it. UGH

So I have to say that school is starting to suck. I mean it always sucked before now it is just more accented. I'm deffinately taking summer off this year. I've been going to school for 2 full years and i can't take it anymore.

what a confusing day. Lots of things to do and not a lot of time to do it in.
1- Jackson'd birthday party
2- Read for quiz tomorrow
3- Chris's gig
4- study test on monday
5-write paper dues on thurs.
6- sleep
7- spend some time with the fiancee

XXXXXX says:
I WANT Wdndy's
Stephanie says:
you want wendy's
i saw the funniest sign
it said Dave Thomas is alive and he's running for congress

call me misses problem solver. I fixed the printer. With my limited knowledge of how priters work... i fixed our here at work :) yah for me :)

For all those that give a a hoot.... EMAIL ME (smiliesteph@hotmail.com) I want to know what people are doing? who are these strangers coming to my website? and how they got here to start with? I mean i think i only know of about 6 people that come to my site regularly... WHO ARE YOU?
That and i have strange people looking for a STEPHANIE ADAMSON and than they don't make themselves known... maybe it's not me who they are looking for... maybe it's someone else. But does this same person look like me is the question? HMM well do they?

My favorite style of College rock is the topic for today. Most people will say that college rock can only classify one area... well they are wrong. My personal favorite is those that have there accoustic guitars, mellow drum beats, MALE SINGER'S, always seem to be singing about how they either are in love with this girl, or that they just broke up and there heart is torn apart by it. The sad thing is that i have come to realize that this music is generic... generic indie rock... does that exist?

Ryan and i bought TETRIS WORLDS for PS2. There is no other tetris game that has fucked with my head that much. I mean the NEW TETRIS was pretty bad, but geeze this one has kicked my ass and kicked it hard. I can't figure out some of the levels and why exactly you win with them. It's crazy i tell you crazy. For all those tetris freaks out there... YOU MUST BUY IT *subliminal message* [companies should really pay me for this stuff]

I am specifically being late to class so that i can sit toward the back and HOPEFULLY not get asked question... because it''s a discussion and i stayed up and played tetris instead of actually reading.. DAMN.

Now that it has taken me about 10 minutes to figure out how to make ref. to sites... go to chris's :)

You can't be too depressed when you see a blog like Chris's
Damn he went through a lot of girls since me, but i guess i did the same :) Let's see if i didn't tell you all Chris and i dated aprox. a year ago, and than bad things went to worse and depression had set in on both sides we broke up. But it was nice to hear a low down about him. teehee

Also i got an email from Katie. One of whom i haven't talked to for a while. She is the girl that is my soul bestfriend. And if she doesn't realize that, oh well... she still is mine anyways.

This morning i woke up and realized that i have no pants... no pants i tell you. Either they are dirty or ripped. So i'm wearing the most uncomfortable pants there are and it has made my dad ASS!

Stephanie says:
and well i almost don't want it at all because my heart sinks when he refuses

So the barenaked ladies came out with DISC one a greatest hits album. well back in '92 they did a song call Box Set. Do you think that they are trying to do the same thing in the song. Are they selling out?
well here's the song you tell me
Song: Box Set Band: BNL Album: Gordon
* = my comments
I never thought that you would
Love me the way that you do.
I never thought that you would
Love me half as much as I do.
You say you want to know
Everything about me -- well here you go,
But if you want it girl, you got it;
It's all right here in my box set.

I never thought that words like
Product would ever leave my libs,
But something happened to me
Somewhere that made me lose my grip.
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration
That makes me stoop,
Or maybe it's a lack of
Renumeration; I can't recoup.
But if you want it, folks, you got it;
It's all right here in my box set.

Disc One
It's where we've begun, it's all my greatest hits,
And if you are a fan then you know that you've
already got 'em
*the funny thing here is that disc one was true of this statement
Disc Two
It was all brand new, and album's worth of songs,
but we had to leave the whole disc blank because
Some other label bought 'em
*if you've ever tried to copy right things you know what a bitch it is, and if you missed something...well you have to start the prossess all over again
Disc Three
This is really me in a grade school play,
I had about a hundred thousand lines, but of course
I forgot 'em
*why would he put this in
I never thought there'd be days like this,
There was always someone at my door.
I never thought I would ever miss,
And the crowd would always holler for more.
But now it seems all that people want
Is what I used to be
*albums like gordan and maybe you should drive, why can't they play these songs in concert... they kick ass
And every time I try to do something new,
All they want is 1973.

I never thought I'd be regretful
Of all my past success
But some stupid number one hit single
*one week
Has got me in this mess.
You can put it on every compilation -- that's alright.
Everyone that i know that makes a BNL disk they put that song... why?
You can hear it on the oldies radio station every night.
And if you want it again, you got it --
It's right here in my box set.

Disc Four
Never released before,
And you can tell why;
It's just some demos
I recorded in my basement.
* i would like to get a hold of demo's... demo's rock
Disc Five
I was barely alive,
I was coughing up a lung
So they had to use
A special computer as my replacement.
*damn TECHNO
Disc Six
A dance remix,
So I can catch the latest trend
And it'll make you scratch your head
And wonder where my taste went.
*hope to god this never happens
So now my fans are crying sellout,
They say I've lost my touch
They say I should just get the hell out
Before I do too much.
*this band has gotten to the sell out stage
Hear my songs in an ad for a bathroom cleanser --
*no it's car ads, but they can't predict the future
They say it's greed,
*it is
And now I'm wondering where my friends are
In this time of need.
But if you change your mind and buy it,
I hope you enjoy my new box bet
*honestly i would by the box set

It's still winter here in salt lake. The snow is thick and icey. It makes life a little bit more off. I am wishing that things will work out... and hope to god that they do. I miss having my own things where i don't have to drive about 25 minutes to get them. I miss wearing flip flops in the summer. I miss having a social life... but i love the TRUE friends that i've found recently. I'm wishing that my life won't be this stressful all the time. I'm thinking that my feelings get hurt to easy. And that I just need my life to stop changing for one minute. All of this change is creating stress, between me and my family, me and my fiancee and me and myself.

So i'm kind of depressed today... and well i don't really know why. i'm to that state where i just want to sleep it off. i want to move out of this apartment, but ryan and i have to take off work to find one. Oh well it will work out... i hope

Song: Good morning sun Band: Ben Folds Album: rockin' suberb
20 years from now maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers

Today has just been a day were work does not seem like the best thing to do. My tummy is hungry and well it's just not much fun to have no money and well... no real ambition. Ryan and i are probably going to move here in a couple of weeks which should be exciting. The places we want to move in though is 2 bedrooms... so we need to find a roommate or i need to make more money. Which convincing my dad to give me a raise, seems so complicated.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

My sister had her baby this afternoon. (on he own birthday no less) It's a boy named Jonas he's 7lbs 10 oz. and cute cute cute. it makes me think that i want a baby even more... only to know the fact that this will never happen anytime soon, because we don't want to be one of thoes people that can't even afford themselves let alone a baby.

I a woke this morning to about a foot of snow. and my mom saying it was baby time and to get my ass to the hospital. So i went to my car and to no avail there my car was... snowed in. So ryan and i started cleaning off my car and realizing that we are FUCKED. When all of a sudden there was this homeless man with a shovel.. he started helping us get out, pushed the car and we got onto the street. If i see the guy again i will buy him a coffee or something.

in other news i made a GREEN snow man, while watching the kids. Because of this abundance of snow it only seemed suiting. NO there was no green BEER envolved prior to ryan waking up asking 'why do [i] needed green food coloring... for BEER' WE used squirt bottles to make it actually green it was REALLY run and wet.

You know your weekend's exciting when you sit and do home work at 5 o'clock on a saturday. Actually i'm going over my America at War paper and adding some more opinion and less fact.... because that's what he said that he wanted.

I'm thinking about doing S.I. (supplimentary instruction) for fall and spring semester next year. it's only $1000 a semester but you don't have to grade papers and it looks good on paper. That and it's for american government which i actually did REALLY well in. It's only about 9 hours a week which logically adds up to about $10 an hour... which is good for going to school to work with out really working. For if no one show up for it (becuase it's outside of class time) than you can sit and study... which is always a plus for me.

So i honestly have some issues with family... and i guess that's just the topic for today, because things are going all crazy like. Some members don't want me to alope, they want to be there. Some don't want me to live with ryan until we are married (guess who that is). And Some are just raising hell with me because they know it's easy at the time. GEEZE what is going on here?

I get my brother bryon's name and Ryan's name mixed up all the time... it's driving me slowly crazy

At least there's one good thing about today, i'm wearing one of my favorite shirts. It's neon green with white stripes, colared with a tid-bit of clevedge showing (if you really wanted a detailed description)

Song: Slave Band: David Garza Album: this euphoria
from now until you reach the grave, baby i will be your slave.
ask for your hand to hold, no i could never be so bold
Baby i will be your slave

guys david garza kicks ass. This was his first album which came out in '98 but is more know for the recent album called Over Dub, with Say Baby and Too Much
Now i, like most people, bought Over dub and loved it (the sad thing here is that most people that i let here it likes it too because it's different, which is always a plus). When, as a present, i got This Euphoria with not even knowing that he had an album before the most recent one. Over dub came out in i think August of 2001, one of my favorites from 2001 by the way.

Why you ask, Why did i just go off about our friend David Garza? Well i will answer that, because talking about music calms me down... so music it is.

So i have to say WHAT THE FUCK today. For one thing i have to get some papers done this weekend which is not always the funnest thing in the whole world. And also the fact that no one in my family will inform me of some details that i need to know. That my mother is now telling things that i REALLY didn't want other people to know and the fact that i don't like the DRAMA envolved in my life right now. I mean i HAVE a lot of STRESS. Which i know is bad for the bloodpressure, but to specifically add things on the top of it, what the hell are other people thinking.

why is this song in my head...
Dashboard Confessionals.Best Deceptions..

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze, in the cool nights,
and the cool guys that you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see, don't you see,
that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
'cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
and this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service
to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.
Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing.
I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
too late to be gracious
and you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late.

***for some reason this song reminds me of people***

I was trying to find books for a paper that i have to write in my ancient near east class. And i stumbled upon some Conieform writing... slick man... slick. The cool thing is that they had the best translations a few pages before it... it was so neat to see how things fit together from about 4000 years ago!!!

For one thing today has already started to suck ass. Aaron, the guy that's ahead of me, has left for good. Which puts me in the situation to take his job, but fuck if i want that responsibility. I guess it's just retarded that way. Also the company has no money again, how funny is that, well actually it stupid and makes me ill. I honestly feel sick. Take it as stress, take it as just being sick, take it as the season... i just feel awful.

I had this paper that i though was due today, well my instructor decided to push it back to Tuesday... thus giving me 4 days to dwell and taunt about if i should change things on the paper, if it was really good enough, or if i should just get rid of the thing and start all over again. I hate it when people do that.

I will probably be sitting on my ass around the apartment all evening, because ryan is DJing again. How crazy is that? I probably went into detail last week, but still it kind of bothers me. i need to head up to the U and get some research done so i guess that should be okay.

So i wrote this blog yesterday that i deleted for all those that want know what happened. I for some reason have found that some one has been reading my page from work so i have stopped saying things that are incriminating.

I ran into Chris today on campus. A person that i've wanted to talk to for quite some time now. He was sad by the fact that i was engaged, for some reason i could feel his heart sink... i wonder why that is? I mean that i have no realy sexual feelings toward him, but i do feel like he will be a life long friend.... i hope. I guess i just wanted to see how he was. It's funny how when you are avoided by one person for so long and you run into them how good it feels to have them back in your life... at least for a little while.

I'm back to this stage of questioning... well everything in most relationships
-why is it that when i get stressed no one really cares about it?
-why does this ring on my fingure automatically has me making mass decisions?
-i don't want to do school anymore, is that bad?
-or am i just burned out?
-do people REALLY know what you are going through when they say 'i understand'?
-Do i really know what i'm doing, or am i just going through the motions?

If anyone knows the answers to these question let me know (smiliesteph@hotmail.com)

long time no blog~ teehee
We have an ad in the Salt Lake Tribune for a job. And there have been more people calling on the phone it's sad to think how many people are out of work. I was there once and it was hell. The thing is that i still HATE my job, but it's better than not having one at all.

As far as the weekend goes, i got piss ass drunk. i went to a girls night out party (which pretty much was an excuse to drink a lot and talk about how your sex life is going, or the lack there of) Eventually leading to me being sick, but i guess it was worth it.

Last night i had one of the best meals in SAlt LAke, it's called Rodizio's grill. It's a Brazilian Grilll, but it was the best food I've had in while. We got at least 12 different types of meat and Q'ed vegatables and pinapple. it was SOOO wonderful. My tummy was the happiest it's been in a while.

So i was just writing this email that was going over the man things that has happened in the last 10 months... and let me tell you it wasn't much. I did a lot of life changing events but that's typical for this time in my life. But written down it didn't seem like much... UGH!

song for today... i haven't listen to this album for ever so good job Five For Fighting

Love Song
Put away your tears and your sleepy eyes
Put away that bullshit, Big boys they don’t cry to their mama’s
…She’ll be back soon
Put away your raincoat and make your bed
Take another bullet right to your head
We’re going on a picnic and we’ll get there soon

She says…Maybe it’s over
He say’s… there’s plenty more fish in the sea
I say… Don’t go away from me…

Put away your dinner and have a snack
Tie your little brother up in a sack now
We’re moving to the country and we’ll get there soon (she says)

Pack up all the things that you don’t deserve
Take another swing… Here comes a curve ball
I bet you can’t hit it cause you’ll swing to soon

She says…Maybe it’s over
He say’s… there’s plenty more fish in the sea
I say… Don’t go away…
Don’t go away
Please don’t go away from me…

Take those damn pictures off that shelf
Put away your mommy you don’t need her
I found you a new one… she’ll be here soon

She says…my God it’s over
He say’s… I found another fish in the sea
I say… why me?
Why me?
Why me?
Why is it me?

I found this new juice from the international market and Deli. In the states it's called sour Cherry Nectar there (with vodka) is called vishna [question on the spelling but that's how it's prenounced]. Also I'm making samon tomorrow for dinner and i need paprika and all of the spices there are a dollar. It was a bag full of paprika for a dollar :)

So this cat right... name: Pepper. She's cute and all and very lovey dovey, and well it makes ME want a cat. who would've thought

i have given up caffine... atleast in the drinking form and i'm going running later this afternoon :) I love it that it's sunny... hopefully we wont get any more snow.

My office smells like smoke, i think it's because rick, dad, was smoking in my office last night. UGH!

I have this new drink it's a Mac Lizard's Lemonade.. it's really good for all those that can get to the stores. it's made with Meliisa and Lemongrass. i like it. i'd get sick of it eventually but for now i like it

This morning i woke up sicker than i dog, something was wrong, but now i feel fine. If it presses on i think i'm going to have ryan come with me to planned parenthood and have things checked out there... Yet another UGH!

i think the dentist did a shitty job, because my tooth still hurts like a mother fucker... it's a good thing that i'm going in on the 8th.... OWWWWW

We are cat sitting for the next 3 weeks. The sad thing her is that this will make ryan just want a cat even more. But no he has to stay in that apartment forabout 4 more months so he will just complain until then. wa wa wa

I got my office back :) from the last 2 weeks of using Aaron's and feeling like i wasn't getting anything done, i get my office back.

Alright now it's bitch time... what really happened yesterday I went to the doctor who told me that i had high blood pressure and that instead of getting on medication that i should just do typical dieting, honestlyi don't think that i need to loose weight... but what ever he thinks... than he asks what stresses i have. well i have school, getting married, in the transition of moving, my parents are getting a divorce, i work with my parents... etc. Which he just blamed it on stress... kind of. So i have to stop drinking alcohol and caffine, walk every day (which i do that anyway) and watch my stress. I'm thinking about getting a yoga book to see if that releaves things. So ryan and i were coming back from my friends house... and with what started as a conversation envolving typical marriage things... got into me crying about everything... just one shitty ass day. I think it's funny that i can just admit that, but lately i've just gotten down... down and out. I don't quite understand it... it just happens in the winter. i think i complain about it every year. I REALLY want to talk to Chris and let him know what's going on... but i don't really know how to get a hold of him, maybe i'll think of something. (what brought that up i don't know)

I have to read a book and right a critical essay on it by next thursday which i might... just might do well on. I'm trying to remind myself to look at the sources that the author used.. the key is remembering that.

Anyways so today i went to the doctor... well i guess i'm okay... just more stress when i should be trying to not have stress. Today is a stressful day.. it's a good thing today is tomorrow

details: I came home from school around 12:30 got on the net and sat around for a while. Meanwhile Ryan is sitting on the floor thinking of which cd's to sell. I get up because my hand are cold and start bugging him. Well i try toi reach in his pockets. He keeps my hands out of them, and me being the snoppy girl that i am keep bothering him about it. He puts it behind his back and says i'll tell you what it is if you marry me. I was shocked!!! We kissed and i was making all sorts of noises, and sat around for a little while until i realized that i had to call my mom. She doesn't answer... try calling my dad didn't answer... tried calling my favorite sibling Amy who also didn't answer her phone... than thought to call Mindie told her the story... called mom again told her.... than Bryon.. (why did i just write this down)

I also yesterday went up to my mom's for something that i can't even remember. But after we found our selves at my cousin Chris;s house for a birthday party (turning 14) Got drunk and they all thought that we were cool... ahhh 14 year olds thinking i'm cool... geeze that sucks that this is my life. Came home blah blah blah and went to bed. (teehee)

i'm engaged!!! just thought i'd let everyone know