it's kind of been a bad day

yesterday nikki and i made this very large bean bag chair... with out the beans. With fluff instead. I started at 9:00 in the fabric store trying to fit all of these bags of fluff into the ity-bity cart that they give you (imagine half the size of a normal cart) after the bags fall over baout 5 times we get 2 carts. I get home later to find that nikki had already sewn it together and it was only half way filled. so at about 6:15 i think it's time to get more fluff... so back to the fabric store, but to no avail it was closed for memorial day 3 hours early. So we call around and there is one still open but it's about 25 minutes away from the house. So Ryan and i go there to find the same problem we had with the other store. All i have to say is geeze.

I also tried to cut ryan's hair yesterday. Need less to say i am NOT a hairdresser by any means. So i just shaved off the bottem and left the top all long. It looks suprisingly good, just because he is growing his hair out long.

Also my mom and i went an purchased my dress... AHH it's so purrr-dy. I'm finally starting to get excited about the wedding.

We went to the Zoo. It was quite fun. We saw typical animals that are at the zoo like monkey's, lions, owls, etc. But we couldn't see the racoons i wonder where they went to?

Also stopped at Krispy Kream to get some donuts man those are good, num num

I think that i have found the perfect dress for the wedding. It's a tanktop witha square neck and an "a" line witha longer train, with embrodered flowers on the bottom :)

HAPPY WEEKEND

You wonder why i'm celebrating? because it's a 3 day weekend with RYAN! Him and i don't get very many of those it should be lots of fun.

Will up date

"Howdy ho"

Going to outback stake house and well that's about all i have to say.

i wondered today why i miss the rain so much. It will be raining all week and it has made me excited. The rain is one of the most beautiful things that salt lake has.

Other than that i got paid today and we bought a dvd player yesterday. Well we always had the PS2 it is just picky with some of the movies we watch.

I actually worked at work :)

I'm orginizing my personal files today... hope it doesn't take to long. It seems like it always does though... UGH!

I have four people that visit my site... well that i know who they are. 1-nick 2-debbie 3- vahl 4- myself (myself as becuase i have to get to my site to get to all the rest of my friends sites) As far as all these other people... i think i have no idea who they are. I mean i get an ocational Eddie, Dereck, Chris, Ryan, random people (including those at work) a once that i knew it was James, but that's about it. The rest of these people are strangers i wish they would make themselves known... it drives me crazy.

At any rate. I have to get back to cleaning the house i have been constantly sick for the last 3 weeks and the apartment has gone to shit. i realize this but that's why i must clean it.

I like coming home and not being sick. We are buying an airconditioner today which should be nice because it's just starting to get hot. also my sister Amy is giving us her old entertainment center so we don't have to buy one of those :) We make a good fair of money together but i honestly have no idea where in the hell it goes. Oh well.

Oh in Sterio today: (work) weezer the album... i forget it's name (home) get up kids...something to write home about. Goes to show you what mood i'm in today.

The cat has found a new place to lay down. It's under a car that we are using for the other computer. Yah we have 2 :)

i had i dream last night that ryan and i had our wedding rehersal and everyone was wanting the wedding pushed up to that day. For some reason there was no food except cake and everyone had to wait for about 2hours before anything got started. But once things got up and rolling it was actually pretty funny. The wedding march was some one hit wonder 80's song and well it made me laugh i think it was the wang chung tonight song. But i have no idea.

SO it's day 7 of being sick... damnit

So the wedding will be on SEPT 14th in the murry mansion yah! atleast i have one thing figured out. As for not blogging most of the week i have been sick. Sick to the extent where finally after 5 days of being sick i went to the doctor. It turns out that i have had an ear infection for quite some time and it has made it so that my sickness from before never got better, that and i was more subseptable to other peoples angry little deseases.

so june is gone for wedding business... damn!
I got a present today... it's pretty. 198 diamonds and pure rubies and nice gold... like i said it's pretty.

So blogger is being a shit, but i guess that's okay. Anyways so today Kalicia and i went dress shopping which was a lot of sucking in, and just well sucking ass. But nothing was really nice to me.
Sorry i haven't writen in awhile, but you know when things get all crazy like.
i guess not a hole lot has been going on.. shit

So i think that i have found our reception hall, but it might push us up to JUNE 22.

thanks ryan -------------------------------->

Take the What Sex Position Are You?

So what do you guys think?... honestly. Good, bad, ugly?
Today was lots of fun i worked at work, and am playing now. I did just break a coffee mug so that sucks, but other than that it's a good day!

So this is what i don't understand... men in general. Okay you need a situation i know. So ryan and i ary playing space odyssey (for those that don't know this is where you build rollercoasters for little balls) it comes about time for bed and i have given up on mine and expect him to do the same. When i say mkay hunny it's time to clean up and go to bed, he says that it's not and he needs to keep building. The thing here is the only fun part about these is when another person sees that you made this rollercoaster work and if i'm in bed already he will never come to bed because someone else wont say good job... than the person takes it apart and goes to bed. Now is the reason why he doesn't come to bed is because i told him to, or is it because he just REALLY doesn't want to sleep. I mean it's late shouldn't it be time for bed?

i get to go play rollercoasters :)

well folks... what do you think of the new layout?

It's called it was time for a change. I go to my site daily to see friends and things and i finally got sick of the yellow color :)

i'm hungry for dinner... what to eat? what to eat?

UNDERGOING CHANGES

Todays song
A Long December - Counting Crows
A long December, and there's reason to beleive
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I can be forgiven....I wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California...I think you should
Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her
And its been a long December, and there's reason to beleive
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean..I guess I should.


I fell as though nothing has changed in my life. Like i'm out of school for the summer when i was in middle school, that i can't remember what happened last year or the year before. Yet massive things have happened. My heart was broken time and again, i've been happy, and god knows i've been sad... yet it's hard to remember. My memory seems to block it well.
I was going through my journal from this time last year and i was depressed to say the least Chris and i had broken up (with this has a secret attached, which i can't mention), the seperation of my parents had just set in, days later a friend would die and my life would be a constant reminder of Jed falling and leaving me to deal with things on my own. (it's just been past 2 years and i can finally talk about that without crying) The music was slow and sad and life seemed to have stopped in that state. Yah i would date others and develop new relations with friends, but than my heart would get broken and i would be back in this depressing state.
But now i'm not depressed.
I'm in love.
And am in love with the same man that i will be for the rest of my life.
A man that makes my days better, that makes a smile grow, that makes my heart swell with happiness.
As for today... well it sucked, but it didn't effect me as much as it should have. Last year at this time it would have lead me to tears. But today i came home, to this apartment. An apratment that is mine.
It's a healthy state that i'm in. This year has been better than last year. My life is on the up and up and i have been to stuburn to notice.
Why can i not remember yesterday? why does it take noticing what i had a year ago and what i have now to make me compare? can't i just know that my life is better? That i am happy, stronger, more comfident, able to fail!

MY LIFE IS BETTER, MY LOVE IS BETTER, MY WILL TO LIVE IS BETTER.

things are looking up.

Today...
well... i didn't get much sleep, didn't have clean pants, had to take my mom's dogs to the groomers, get to work and work was robbed, locked my keys in the car, and now i'm home to where i have realized that i'm out of checks which i re ordered last week and they still haven't arrived
and yesterday there was this big thing about my mo m and dad and wedding shit. My life seems all strange like and i don't like it.

Today i'm baking, why is it that resently all i'm talking about is baking food. Anyways on the list for today is crazy cake (make with vinager and oil... no eggs) and muddy buddy chex mix, hmm sounds good :)

Also so who really does STILL read this page anyways... am i writing for no reason, i guess it's just for personal reflection. That's a good way of putting it... PERSONAL REFLECTION

Also now that i'm at my daily routine everyone seems to be bumed out lately. Why is that? Is it finals week and everyone desides that it's not there time to be happy. Yet after it's all over with people will be happy and rejoice that the semester is over.

So most of the time on the weekends there is actually things to talk about, but alas this weekend has just been milling around waiting for something to happen. My brother pat is graduating from college on Friday... good for him. And well that's all that's new.
We went to my mom's house to see what was up in her neck of the woods and pretty much it was a reason for her to tell me that she still loved me... yah! (like i didn't already know that)

So i went to work... that sucked. I spent most of the day thinking of ways to not actually work. I WASN'T PRODUCTIVE. i guess that just came with the week.

i am on the verge of going crazy because i have the indiana jones theme song stuck in my head and it's been there the whole day.

Yesterday i cleaned the hardwood floors, thought about taking the cat for a walk and than realized that cacats don't go for walks... that would be stupid.

Tonight i'm cooking fish!

Tomorrow i get to sell back my books, hopefully it will be lots of money. Atleast to pay for some bills

I live in the heart of Salt Lake City. If you walked west from the apartment about 2 blocks you would hit the temple, which is the center point of the city. I love it. in order to get home from work i must drive down state street, which by the way has a no cruising zonefrom 11 pm to 4am (who the hell still does that shit, i guess if i were 16 it would be a bummer) During the day there are business people with there short hair and suits and taco stands, but at night is were the wierdo's are.
We can walk to memory grove, and across the street from Brigham Young's grave (if you don't know who this is it's one of the Mormon prophets, which we stole flowers from to make paper the first time)
There is Nicki and Mike which will upstairs, which make me happy. Nicki used to be Ryan's ex girlfriend which at first was strange to met her, but now she is one of my better friends.
I wouldn't mind living here for a while.
The apartment it's self is a great apartment. WE are on the 2nd floor up from the ground level, with all hardwood floors. The bathroom is small but other than that it's great.
Why did i deside to go of about this today? hmmm i wonder... i have to idea

But now i must clean the apartment really quick before ryan gets home (why BEFORE ryan gets home you ask... because than we can do other things other than cleaning the house... if you know what i mean)