i think i almost died coughing... ow.
Now my vocal chords hurt, and well it wasn't pretty

AHH I HATE BLOGGER SOMETIMES

have you ever noticed that people talk about the same things in the "blogging" system. Adn i know that i fall into the same style. Well today i think i should talk about something else..
Why have i tried to be friends with some people who honestly could give a damn? i mean honestly.. i've treid i can't say that i haven't. This trying is countless emails, letters, phones calls.You can't expect a relationship to only be on one end, for sometime you just need to give up and except your losses. So i have 2 less friends, and one ex-boyfriend.. which as of right now i classify him as one of my favorite friends when i actually get to talk to him... hmmm. i guess it's just time to give up and wait for a phone call on the other person's end, and if they don't know the number there is always email (smiliesteph@hotmail.com) i know that lately i have been kind of spacy, but if others got what i was doing they would understand. i find myself daily think "why do i keep going with these people?" And than i call them or write a breif email with no replies. I guess that's just what happens to people over time.

The following presentation is rated PG-13

i hate being sick. I've been this way since thursday night and well it's NOT fun. i have watched every movie that don't have extremely strong fight scenes. And now i'm being subjected to HBO with movies that i hate even more that some of the movies we have. But i guess it's better than just watching straight tv. And since right now only BLANK CHEEK is on i'm watching Taxi. i'm getting excited for M*A*S*H*

been sick with the flu for the past 2 and half days. It's driving me crazy, and the person that i got it from had it for a week straigh... UGH!

i'm doing homemade paper... and i made paper god damn you paper. I'm proud of it, i'm actually making my own wedding invites.

Picture this. Debbie and I sitting in her bedroom trying to try some sex booster activity... it was one of the funner evenings i've had in awhile

*wedding thing done today... made guest list. Well my half atleast... ryan is procrastinating

I stayed home from work today... and well just slept. UGH! now i wont get any sleep tonight poo.

we are having a wedding
sept 14 don't really have details

My petition to withdrawal went through and guess what i got accepted :) Yah for bullshit.

alright boys and girls we had our open house and it went over well. We got 2 house plants, a dish strainer (for we have to dishwasher), and a total of $120 gift certificates to Target (which we bought a microwave, silverwear, a silverwear holder, plastic hangers, garbage can, slip proof stuff for the floor/furniture, and a hanger for the door in the bathroom)
After we went to the Sex toys shop and purchased some items... i know to much information haha.
Than it was to Edger's birthday bar-b-q and for a moment i thought that it was no longer winter. It was cooled but still felt like the on-set of Spring :)
Today my mom had dinner at her house, roast and mashed potatos yum yum.
than it was off on the adventure to find a litter maid (which clean up the cat shit, it has a sensor that says when the cat is there and when it has left, all in all a cool devise for a cat that wont clean up her shit). Which lead us to have THE WORST experiance at Walmart, involving an employee that assumed he has it and when he realized that Walmart no longer carried them in stock... we got mad and left. This leaving me to no longer EVER wanting to go to Walmart... EVER I TELL YOU.
Than it was to Mindie's (my sister's) birthday party. Where she, like everyone else, gets older and more wiser... she just turned 24 might i add.
Now I am home again where the cable modem is going in and out... if this doesn't work i will kill (teehee)

i'm mad... mad at everyone

i had these wierd ass dreams lastnight... well early this morning
1- i was dancing to "alternative girlfriend" on the stage of my elementary school, with Chris, my brother pat and bryon, and someone else that i don't remember. But i was swinging from the curtain on a particular part of the song.... it was pretty cool.
2- I went back to the bookstore for semester open and was talking to Bryce. Now Debbie likes Bryce, and well i was talking to Bryce in my dream and he says "yah i would be concerned because i would want to sleep with her" I said go for it... what's the worst it could do. Anyways so debbie and bryce hook up which kind of confuse me.. but that;s okay

I'm having an open house on saturday for family... let me tell you this is not the best thing to look forward to. Ryan's family and my family in the same room together, i hope it turns out well. AHHHH!

It's snowing here. SNOWING! it's fucking April and snow god damnit. I was just in the sunniest hotest place that is in driving distance, come back and it's snowing. GEEZE i'm angered at the weather.

I'm writing for out internet. It's connected again in out apartment. I love living with ryan.

I've spent most of the day sick. I have a feezer from this morning and a stomach ach. My brother in law has the same thing too. i hope it's not a bug.

VIV LAS VEGAS
Yah ryan and i just got back from vacation, and to change all thoughts now we didn't get married (sorry to burst your bubble).
Thursday
We drove for what seemed like hours... hell it was 8 hours, that's a long time if you ask me. Than we finally got to Nate and Cari's house were ryan decided that we needed to go to the strip and get drunk... so that's what we did. an hour and a half on the bus later we arive on the strip only to get lost in casino's take 3 shuttle type things, and walk... god did we walk. We took a cab back to the house around 1:30 and gave up on the idea that we were going to stay up until cari got back from stripping.
Friday
The day was spent just hanging out. We didn't DO anything, except sat around and played with comic all day, watched a shit load of movies, and bar-b-q-ed... and well got drunk again. Which leads me into
Saturday
Were ryan and nate decided that they needed to gamble, so we spent the money that we were sent down with and lost, it's okay no body expected to win. And yet another day drinking... i swear it was a constant drunken party
Sunday
We packed up to go home. Finally had some time to actually spend with cari and went to coffee. Were we played rummy and lots of it. Than it was back in the car for the drive home. Were to start with i spilled a soda pop all over me, which lead to me being sticky for most of the trip... damn stickyness.

And as for today i slept in. I have a doctors appointment today. To be honest i hate the doctor. i don't want to go. Which leads me to realize that it was only a vacation, and that you really do have to get back to reality sometimes.

I just want to go home. Home to never return to what my life has become right now. I'm never in the mood to hear my dad bitch, to go to work, to go to school, to just be in the Salt Lake Valley. I honestly HATE all of them. and i wish that things were different. but they are not. So i will press on with my shitty life (ryan excluded) and hope that things turn up for the better.

I have to go and patition to withdraw my classes. Honestly i have not done well this semester... i have tried my damnedest... and well i guess it's just not something that i can do right now. Which is fine i mean i am getting married, just moved, work has me working 30 hours a week when i'm used to 15. Things have gotten crazy.... crazy i tell you.

Will not be on as often because we are moving and don't know if we can get broadband there. So... just thought i would update

Song: so i fall again Band: Phantom Planet Album: Phantom Planet is Missing

I can't say if this feeling coming over me is real
but I know its something you can't steal
So I'll buy another problem to approach
sell a virgin lie that can't be touched

So I fall again
So I fall again
So I break through this rotten piece of wood again

I can't say if this here f*cking subject should be dropped
but I know its something you can't stop
So I'll buy another pickup line and sigh
and pretend that everything is alright

So I fall again
So I fall again
So I break through this rotten piece of wood again

So I break through this rotten piece of wood
So I break through this rotten piece of wood
So I break through this rotten piece of wood again

So I fall again
So I fall again
So I break through this rotten piece of wood again



I guess this is a song... not the song i wanted... because i can't find the words to it at the mome...but maybe later

it's not a good day

It's offical.
we are getting on the lease on Friday and are able to move anytime after that. WE already have to deposit made and all ready to go. I'm excited, we will be busy for awhile... but excited none the less.

I have a midterm tomorrow and than another paper on Monday and than an outline on thurs. than it's to Viva Las Vegas... where we may, or may no, get married :) I'll let everyone know when i get back though!

So i finished that paper last night, yes it was about 3 am but i finished it none the less. Took the day off after class and slept... all day. i just ran and took ryan dinner at work because he's working late and hopefully i wont get sick today. It seems as though the sandwich i get at subway makes me sick.

Time to write another paper at the last minute. Last time i tried an extremely detailed outline that bit me in the ass later. So now i'm trying a long and to the point outline... hopefully that works better :)

Now i'm at work... work sucks. I tell you the first thing that happens is my dad bits my head of for no good reason... it's like it's my fault that he had to come into work this weekend, what a jerk.