so today i volenteered myself to come into work tomorrow... it was going to be my first sunday off in 3 1/2 months.. but no... i'm a re-re.
from friday to sunday is video games days. so ryan and i put the bed in the middle of the front room and have 2 tv's set up so that we can play different games. It's kind of fun.
I have FINALLY figured out how to quit my second job... i hate it. so rather than just saying i hate it i will say that i'm need more at the clinic, which i am.
Anyway need to hop in the shower...

i wish i could just fall asleep tonight. I know you're thinking it's early and why should i be worried about sleeping... but all i can think about is someone else. I know that's a bad thing... but i can't help it. I guess that's what it's about, being married, thinking it but not actually doing it. I wish that i could understand what a normal marriage is like. I wish that i could feel as though my husband loved me as much as he loves his friends. I think i need to get out more.

Anyways... i don't understand why i started this page in the first place. I hardley come to it anymore... and you know i don't really think i have any regulars... maybe one or 2... hehehe

as far as things new with me.. there's not much. We took the kitten to get adopted and hopefully they don't have to come back. We have a new cat now... his name is big boy. He's our new charity case. He has sores all over his back and he pees everywere... i hear. He's my new thing... something i can get into hopefully.

i don't think anyones like is really that normal do you?

ohh... i guess it was time for a change

todays a good day. i don't know how many of those i've actually had. recently i've been thinking. do i want children or is that all i know? As you know ryan got the snip snip so that puts kids out with him, but do i want someone else? Someone that wants kids? Do i even like kids? I'm only 22 i understand that... but i have to start thinking about the future... i guess. I have found the career i want, which is a good thing (vet tech as id you didn't know). If only i could've seen what other old boyfriends would've been good as fathers... i know of maybe 2... I know that ryan would it's just he REALLY hates them, and it's making me do the same. What should i do?
let me know( smiliesteph@hotmail.com)