it's been a while i realize that
well we euthanized pepper and then 2 weeks later a lady dropped a 2 day old kitten at my work. she was a premature. she only weighed .75 oz when they are normally born at 3-4 oz. her name is either gurkin or moogle, we can't decide which. she is now at 13 days 4.5 oz. still hasn't opened her eyes (this was supposed to happen at 8 days) the doctor says if she doesn't open them by 3 weeks he may have to surgically open them. i've been taking her to work with me, it get annoying to have to wake up in the middle of the night for. i'm sure she will be worth it in the long run.
in other news i'm frustrated with my marriage, not really the talking and the having it fun.... it's really just the sex. i miss passion and romance and not know what your husband HATES. we haven't had sex in a long time and it's starting to both me.

a very depressing day.
i'm very grumping and i don't want to leave the house tomorrow. but no i have to work at both jobs..... and i'm sick of both of them.

Things i love about ryan not being here
- watching law and order/sex and the city all the time that i want to
- watching the movies i like
- eating the food i like
- sleeping when ever i want
- playing video games when i want
- getting home just to play with my dog and give attention to my cats

things i miss
- talking with him when i get home
- waking up in the middle of the night and telling him about my nightmares

I like having ryan, but i think i have finally realized i don't need him. (which is nice)

I cleaned the house one day at a time, done the laundry, and the dishes. it actually stays pretty clean when its just me and the pets here.

The pets miss him... it's kind of cute.

ryan has just left for his dad's in California.
If anyone would like to keep me company for a week. please call me :)