Pets dying is hard to understand. i see it every day and every day i never thought anything of it until Friday. For all those that don't know pepper go put down on friday. she couldn't breath without oxygen, coughing up blood, had a very sad look in her eye, and kind of said to ryan that it was time. so we euthenized her. i think the worst part about it was that ryan just kept crying and crying. he still is really sad over the whole subject, and so am i really. it just happened so quickly.
ryan and i have been talking about pepper health a lot lately. she was loosing muscle in her legs and loosing lots of weight and for some reason being much nicer. like she wanted to make peace before she died. the thing i regret most is that last week she wanted to stay and be feed outside. i called her a bitch and told her to come in. i should've just respected an old ladies wish and feed her outside.
We elected not to get her ashes back, but get a pawprint with her name on it. i found it fitting that she should have blue glaze in the inside (because she really was a boy) but to get prink ribbon because she wanted to be called a girl. (once we found out she was a boy we called her handsom and she bite me so we've been calling her a girl ever since.)
She wasn't with us long, only 4 years, but if she taught me one things it's how to handle mean pets. and how to love all kitties :)

Pepper died today.

Pepper's scarey story

last night ryan and i went and got so dinner when we got home i let pepper inside. she was moving slowly, breathing quickly, and not being mean. we watched her for about 1 1/2 hour then called the vets answering service. he called back right away and said he'd meet us at the clinic in 5 minutes. He did bloodwork (negative) an exam (didn't show anything) and some x-rays (ahh something helpful) It turns out pepper has feline asthma:( The dr gave her an injection and sent us home.
Today she is still breathing heavy, but she's walking around more, eating, and hitting the dog :)

I called the doctor yesterday and he said my thyroid levels were getting closer to normal but that he wanted to increase the dose to 112.5 mg rather than the 50 mg i'm taking now. i've been taking the new dose for 2 days now, and i'm REALLY tired and REALLY spacey. but i good thing is that i'm not craving sugar all the time, it's kind of nice. but still very tired. where is the line folks. i need the medicine but is it worth being this tired. maybe once this gets under control the doctor can do something else.

every thyroid pill i take makes me more and more tired. it seems all i want to do is sleep. i don't clean the house i don't want to be at work, i don't even want to leave the house. it's like i'm depressed but i'm not (well i am kind of) i feel sorry for the people that i have to deal with on a daily basis.... it seems as though all i do is bitch.
i just had my blood tested today to see if they should raise or lower the dose. i hope it helps i'm sick of being tired all the time it's been going on since i was little.

tonight i'm tired, but happy, i've been working a lot lately. mariage is going fair (i don't feel like i'm doing enough around the house though) they changed my thyroid medication and i've been a lot more tired lately i think i will call them tomorrow and ask what i can do. i think i'm going to bed