The answer to the questions...

There is little sense in attempting to change external conditions,
you must first change inner beleifs,
than outer conditions will change accordingly
-Brian Adams How to Succeed
* this is not Brian Adams the singer... even though i think it would be funny to see that guy have an actually thought provoking thought come out of his head *
Let me quickly tell you about this book i have... it answers your questions if you think about it hard enough. The funny things is that it's usually right. :) I think this should be something i do everyday... that way it will get some goos quotes out on the net :)