The honest truth

So life right now is well… stressful. There are a few things that are contributing factors, but one by its self is hard let alone a lot of different ones. Let’s start with the easiest.

Every year we do the taxes and every year we have to pay. And every year it’s stressful. This is why people HATE tax time. I have 22 % of my check taken out for taxes most of the time we still have enough money to get by. Since ryan started his new job finances have not been the same, yet we keep spending the same (imagine that) and now there isn’t enough money… let alone to pay a random $1000 in fucking taxes.

Second. We were trying to refinance the house. As it turns out our house is not worth as much as I thought. Like $40,000 less. We are getting taxed for 190k but our house is only worth 150k. this is still a good number buying the house at $115K so still a good turn around but not what we needed to refinance. I was counting on the extra $300 a month we would be saving…

Third. Work is as I can best say annoying. Everything about my boss bothers the fuck out of me. He’s a relatively easy guy to get along with but annoying. The clients are annoying, the work is boring and I don’t really want to go anymore. Once I get there time goes by quickly and smoothly but getting there is a bitch. I wake up late for work everyday and have to run to get to work on time. I only work 45 hours a week now but it’s so hard on me i’m having nightmares.

Forth. My schedule is fucked. Derby is messing with me. I’m working when I’m needed but then I have to do derby stuff. Derby practice is 3 nights a week not too bad, but it’s the friends and events that are making me overwhelming. I really love some of these ladies and really do want to hang out with them but I can really only handle 3 friends at a time any more than that and I just shut down. I bought a calendar to help me figure out where I was supposed to be everyday, but I’m still overwhelmed. Not to mention trying to figure out strategy and the rules of the game.

Number 5. my marriage isn’t going well. Ryan is having more and more temper tantrums, which end up with something broken, and I swear he loves to make fun of me when we are around other people. This has always bugged me but now it’s so awful I just want hit him… then when I do he hits me back. As far as his temper goes it has cost me atleast $200 this last year (money is hard enough as it is) he gets so mad at homework, and at video games that are too hard for him. Most of the time I wonder WTF!!! Ryan starting doing derby with me and I try to give him tips and he doesn’t listen to me. But when strangers give him tips he tries to use them. I’m sure this is common but it’s frustrating.

So now that I’ve ranted any help anyone can give me would be awesome. Email me privately though please smiliesteph@hotmail.com