an update
i think all of my christmas shopping is done :) i got everyone really good gifts this year. they are awesome. there is 1 shift of the whole year that i will not work, it's christmas eve. my work is still open regular hours and i will not miss all of my neices and nephews... i love those little buddies :)it's a day i look forward to most of the year (well other than my birthday of coarse, but it's next month so i can wait) i don't take work of for christmas day, new years, easter... etc. i don't really care about those holidays. but seeing all of my family in 1 house and the kids are all so excited that they run around for hours, then are excited to go home because santa comes THAT NIGHT :)i think the 2 older boys know that there is no santa and i guess they all will know in time, but it's christmas. it's a reason to be happy.
ryan, however, hates christmas. he says 'why can't we just be nice all year', i usually resond with 'and if you were nice all year that would be a different story' i'm a big fan of leading my example. i think ryan really hates christmas because of his childhood. (which his mom overcompensates for now a days)
speaking of ryan's mom, she seems to be more depressed than ever. i talked to her on the phone earlier she tries to be strong, but she is going through something i can't even imagine. i try to talk to ryan about it and he just pushes away. thank god my friend let me borrow the best book in the world :) Thanks Debbie