meow meow meow

really things are funny

Thursday, March 09, 2006

i'm just finished reading 'illusions' by richard bach. Now i've read this book many times throughout my childhood and finally understood half of what this book is supposed to be about and why the hell i keep reading it over and over.
The basics is it's about a man who comes to learn that all of life is just full of illusions, i.e what you think will happen really does end up happening. it kind of relates to god and life, but in a far fetched way that i don't quite understand and will read the book again to try to understand it.
now i'm only 24 and have noticed that i pick up this book when i have problems with understanding life. the few times that come to mind is: when i was 15 and was trying to figure out why boys didn't like me, when i was 18 and death just became something that happends every year (when my boyfriend died and i showed no sadness for a long time), and now when i'm trying to understand, finally, what i'm supposed to be doing with my life. during this whole time i've had this feeling that there is a god, or other supreme being of that nature, and i just don't understand the 'why'. and i still don't.
i guess what i'm trying to say is... maybe i'm sad because i want to be sad, while i'm still desiding what to do with my life.
The real question at this moment. is whether ryan will support me in my new veterinary school adventure? or is the question how will i survive there with out the man i love?


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