i'm tired of home stuff, i'm starting to hate work (i'm sure it's linked to home) and have been too drunk to drive i think 6 nights in a row. The sad thing is that i'm really starting to think about when i get old and who will be there, and the answer no one. ryan will probably die young knowing all the shit he subjects himself to. and he doesn't want kids... so no kids to take care of me... or for me to take care of. The kids thing is starting to make me angry and very spiteful. he didn't even once ask my opion on the whole vasectomy thingy... i'm upset. he doesn't notice or care about my feeling only about his. honestly we haven't had sex in a long as time (6 weeks i think) he has all control in the when and where we have sex. I hate it. it bothers me and i'm upset i hate nights like this.