meow meow meow

really things are funny

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Something in my personality makes it so that i don't really like fully sharing my problems because then it makes me seem weak and unhappy. in all thought i'm sure that i really am weak and unhappy. i'm sure in person i would never really tell people the things i say here... i just feel stupid and uneasy. For example: I have reallized this on going problem with Mr NA has made me have a very low self image. i guess i know that this really doesn't concern me, and that it's his problem, but i can't help thinking that it's just me... that i can do anything right. I'm sure everyone feels that way most of the time when things don't go their way, but i can't help feeling like that right now. i kind of what to get all dolled up, go to the bar and see if i even have "the stuff" anymore. maybe get a free beverage or two. But if i actually went and did maybe i would just feel more guilty. i know i would HATE it if Mr NA went and did that shit. So i wont but maybe that would boost my selfconfidence.


Blogger Delal said...

Oh no no no no no. You shouldn't feel silly at all and I would totally understand the wanting to make yourself look better...since I have been with Mr.3 I have gained 20+ pounds, granted I'm happy but part of me really worries that if I let my selfesteem get low, and that the self-esteem thing will become visible to him, that I will lose him. You shouldn't worry in the least.

11:23 AM  

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