alright. so my marriage is going threw the crappers. i've told ryan that until he finds out what bothering him about us that i would sleep in the spare room so that he can have bedtime to himself as well. i can just see myself getting depressed and since i already know this i'm gong to try and get out more alone (which i never do) or get out with friends (which i have none of). i just don't want to be home when ryan's home. i don't want to talk to him, i don't want to see him, i don't want to think about him. it just makes me cry.